Today I was in driving in Florida when I came upon an awful accident. I'm sure one person was dead....why are those tarps always blue?? They were trying to extract another person also. I whispered up prayers for the accident victim and the rescue workers who go through so much as they assist in these situations. I burst into tears as I drove on to my destination.
Tears of grief mixed with gratitude fell as I thanked God for sparing my two oldest daughters six years ago from a very similar accident. Grief welled up again as I remembered the blue tarp and my daughter's best friend being taken to the morgue rather than to surgery or to the ER.
I sometimes wonder why God spared my daughters. I wonder why He chose to take Dannon who was an only child while leaving me with all four of my daughters. I wonder why I sit here, the grandmother of seven children, none of whom would be here (two are still forming ) had God chosen to take their Mama's home. It boggles my mind yet fills me with the most amazing gratitude for the mercy that I certainly did not deserve and the precious lives that God has trusted me with.
I think about my son-in-law who pastors a small church in AL. I remember him sitting in the ICU waiting room praying for a miracle, yet accepting God's will. They told us she wouldn't live yet we prayed on. They told us she wouldn't walk or talk and yet we prayed on.
I remember looking at that young man with new eyes as I watched his faith in action. When other people were irritating me with their ceaseless questioning of God's perfect will, he was solid and unwavering in his faith.
I remember another young man who is also now my son-in-law standing by us day and night. I remember him leaning over to our daughter, looking past the blood, stitches and bruises...and telling her that she was beautiful. Now, he's the father of three of our grandchildren and loves our daughter so much!
I remember standing just inside the door at the funeral home. My oldest daughter was in a coma, with severe, life-threatening injuries. My second born was being held up in order to walk, and looked as if someone had beaten her with a base ball bat. I stood there, unable to move, barely able to breathe.......thinking that I was going to collapse. Our pastor and his wife walked up to me, each on one side of me and literally held me up as they gently led me into the room and up to the casket. They were grieving too as they loved my girl so much. (she is now their daughter-in-law and the mother of four of their grandchildren!) But they looked past their pain and helped me through a very difficult moment. I was feeling so guilty and I didn't want to see Dannon lying there dead when she had been so alive, happy and vibrant just three short days before. How could I face her mother who was now childless when there I stood still the mother of four.
God is good to remind me from time to time of His mercy and tender care. When I got home, I knew I needed to write down the memory and give God the glory for the lessons he has taught me and the way that he reminds me to thank Him and to not take life for granted.
